Response to Dear Abby: Do Guests Expect to Pay?

A recent Dear Abby column had a guest to a pre-wedding event perplexed. The guest had received an invite for "Manicure/Pedicure Party" for a friend who is getting married. The invitation the guests received stated, "Please join us for a manicure and pedicure in honor of the bride-to-be." After the guest left, she received a phone call from one of the hostesses stating that the guest had left without paying for her manicure and pedicure. The guest was floored. The guest had assumed since the invitation stated "Please join us" that the hostesses were paying. 

Our dilemma: how to address situations like this so as not to offend guests.

Our response: The column was vague on several details-was this a bachelorette party, a bridal shower, the pampering the day before the wedding, none of the above? 

• For bridal showers, guests are NEVER expected to pay their own way. If this was a bridal shower, then the hosts should have treated everyone.

• For bachelorette parties and pre-wedding pampering, it's fine to expect every guest to pay for themselves.  

• If you're hosting or throwing a party like this, clear up the confusion ahead of time. When guests call up to RSVP, politely remind them that a mani/pedi will be about $50 or so so they know they are expected to pay. This doesn't have to be included on the invite but guests should know ahead of time.

Related Site

-Online Wedding Planner

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